These 8 months that have passed me by in my journey to becoming a mother have taught me so much. How to be humble for what I have, how to take a moment to appreciate my husband and family, to relax and worry less and most of all the enjoy and relish in the anticipation of what’s coming. I have so many other things that I need to blog about right now, wedding, engagement shoots and a family shoot but I just wanted to stop for a moment and share something with anyone who might happen across this blog.
I have always been one to want to snoop at presents, guess surprises, and anxiously wait for every good thing that’s expected to come my way. I’m the type to sit on my hands and fidget to wait for my turn; whether it be my turn to speak in a conversation or open a gift on Christmas morning, or have a gift that I’ve thought up opened. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not a self centered person (all the time lol) – I just put so much thought into everything and love sharing with people that I just can’t wait for the next opportunity to do so and when it comes to gifts well for that I am truly sorry – I just don’t know how to be patient, yet. Waiting 9 months though has changed my perspective on the whole waiting and patience game. Motherhood isn’t something that can or should be rushed, every step during every day that passes by delivers a new joy or a new development for our child and brings me closer to being ready for what’s to come.
Although I spent the first four and a half months in my own private hell of all day sickness (PS as a side note who in heavens name thought up the term morning sickness – news flash for new prego women – it can last ALL day!) I can look back now and appreciate how being completely helpless and bedridden – humbled me. I’ve always been so independent – not one to ask for help easily, or admit when I have difficulties. Having to rely on friends and family because there was no other choice, made me appreciate the amazing support system that I have. It also taught me the value of slowing down and sometimes saying no. During that time I got awesome support from clients who totally understood – and since the beginning of wedding season I have come to love my brides and grooms more as I watch them furrow their brow and worry about me standing on a bench to get a shot or watching me walk up a hill with my bags and just silently come over and take them from me. Being pregnant has shown me the goodness in humanity and how many people out there do just that; share the burden. Whether that be figureatively or literally – the people around me have been amazing and have very strong shoulders.
Who else could I thank when I talk about that more than my husband. Oh Bryan, can there really be any words to express my absolute and total surprise at how much patience you have had with me? Because I never believed it of you does not mean I thought you incapable – but I definitely think you have delivered more than I have a right to ask for. I need everyone who reads this to know that my husband deserves some sort of an award – I may be physically carrying this baby but he is carrying the both of us mentally. He is my rock, defends and stands by me through everything and has been incredibly supportive. Not only is he good with the whole cravings things, but he indulges my endless questions about what our child will be like, has come to ultrasounds and appts, listened to me be sick at night and rubbed my back through it, makes healthy dinners sometimes because I’m just too wiped to cook, carries ALL the bags on wedding days, walks in front of me down the stairs in the middle of the night when my balance is off and the baby has decided to sit on my bladder and so much more than I can put into words. Sometimes I’m not sure what I did to deserve this bliss that I have been blessed with but I thank god for it every day.
So as I bend my head over the next few days and go crazy blogging to catch up please understand that for once I am not sorry for taking a long time and getting behind on blogging because in the meantime I have been treasuring the little moments along the way to bringing this baby safely into this world. I have been having fun though and can’t wait to share some of the great stories from along the way during this season.
Wishing you friendship and love,
Amanda
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